oneworldtalk

For Christians, God's love comes to mind. I am not a Christian and I do not know if God loves us because there is so much suffering in this world. Perhaps, acceptance of the Christian faith would cleanse one of the sins and the by some miracle, one's life would be good and we would become happy people. Religious love aside, human love seems more comprehensible.

The dictionary define love as:
1. profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

To me, love is also understanding the other, to care, to be involve with the other, to share, to support them, and to give space for the other to be and to develop themselves.

There's a story of a woman who said this about love : she would pray more for the person she loved than for herself.
That simply sums up her view of love.

According to the Buddhists,life is sufferings indeed.I m not sure love i accepting,understanding and happiness without money.Love is nothing without money,I tink and hace seen lots of my friends suffering...they understanding each other when they have money,they take care of each other because they have no money.. but their love will be gone when they have no mony.

drecl

Buddhism also teaches ways to eradicate sufferings. May be worth investigating. Money is important to the extent of human survival and daily living. However, once the basic needs are met, it is really a matter of living within one's means and contentment. Since when have human relationships, marriage, friendships been problem free? It takes two to make it work. Frustration and tantrums do not necessarily mean love no longer exists. These are mere distractions from the important things in life. The stronger personalities probably have to take on more to hold the family together and ride through rough times.

A relative of mine was a successful businessman who landed in debts during the financial crisis as well as deceit by partners. He was relegated to a blue collar worker struggling to support his many children through university. His wife stood by him and took on part time jobs. They are living quite comfortably now.

Hang on in there, drecl. You can do it. Look forward to better times.

Don't believe all of the Buddhist teachings. Buddhists have a rather prude view of life, they would miss out so much pleasures in life. It is ah, so masochistic and boring. Look at the Dalai Lama - and oh, I would never want to be like him. If one keeps smiling and go round looking very happy, it becomes so one sided, so much so, I begin to wonder if he can ever feel anything underneath the facade. He seems so unreal, so fake to me. Bless are those that can feel the pain when it is painful and feel happiness when they are really happy. To be happy all the time is like living on rich food all the time. Sometimes it is nice to have plain porridge and green vegetables. Enjoy when it is served. And it would help build up your appetite for the feast afterwards. Bad times may be the time for awakening, to cleanse our sins, and purify ourselves. But don't go flogging yourself over it, be gentle, say your prayers regularly, and wait for your rewards to come.

One has to be true to oneself. When a need is satisfied, then acquiring beyond the needs is greed.

TT Ruby makes a good summary:



For some, the constant pursuit of more money will only bring discontent. Do most things in moderation and follow the middle path as suggested in the Buddhist teachings.

I do not believe that the smiles of the Dalai Lama are fakes as suggested by Sang Nila. This is a man that has reached a stage in his life where he has found some contentment, even though, the primary goal of settling back in China is becoming more obscure with him with each year. This is particularly so when he is becoming a tool of the Western societies/governments whose intents for China are never sincere.

Sorry I may sound materialistic but from my experience got money,got love...to care and share concern and feelings.Lack of money will cause disputes and love will fade.

drecl

Quote drecl :

Love is not about whispering sweet nothings and living happily ever after. That sort of love is only possible in fairy tales and romantic novels. Love is sometimes a bumpy ride that requires hard work and nurturing.

Nevertheless, I have seen the mercenary side of love in some unions. Probably it is not love that binds the relationship but more pragmatic factors? Go back to basics of the marriage vows -- that the couple’s love should endure good times and bad, going through thick and thin together. When the going gets tough, the parties should not be too calculating and fault-finding but be able to make sacrifices. I am no psychologist or social counsellor and therefore not in a good position to give any professional advice but what I’m sharing are based on my observations.

Of course, it is unrealitic to expect lovers to survive on water and fresh air. But how does one define the “lack” of money? There is a Singaporean produced movie entitled “Money No Enough”. If that’s the case, one would always be chasing elusive dreams and feeling discontented.

Maybe there's no love lost because love did not exist in the relationship in the first place. Money may be a convenient factor, a catalyst, an excuse or the trigger to break up the already fragile relationship?

Humour your spouse!

http://oneworldtalk.freeforums.org/view ... =1350#1350

Love...remains even after death. It is a concentration of warm feeling somewhere that transcends material existence. Through the spirit that lives or has lived, it brings us to feel the existence of love that is beyond the self. The warmth of love cushions us from the cold void of the universe, and helps us withstand the pressures of emptiness that manifest a bit more with each passing year. It reminds us of the joy that we have with the loves of our life and the pain when separated from it. When we die, hopefully, our love would live on somewhere for a while in the people we have touched and the difference that we have made.

WHAT LOVE MEANS TO CHILDREN AGE 4 TO 8 YEARS OLD

Touching words from the mouths of babes. What does 'Love' mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when my Mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'My Mummy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When there is nothing left, that is when you find out that love is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love is well, to be patient and kind. China should show more patience with protesters rather than brutally suppressing them. No doubt that China today is properous and strong but in general, the society lacks graciousness. There is much to learn from the West in building a civil society. The inidvidual needs to be more valued in the society. In the long term, voluntary philantrophy from successful individuals would bring great benefits to a society that encourages and nurtures the individual. When the society tries hard to squeeze the individual, all we get is even more selfishness, corruption, and a short-term mentality that goes for quick profits at whatever the costs to society.

The west is also not free from human rights abuses in interrogation and torture tactics used against POW, criminal and terrorist suspects, including some innocent ones. Vice versa, there are also areas the west could learn from China. Fair enough?

Sang Nila:


I guess some of us live in the Lah Lah land and believe that the protesters (is this the right word?) who are bent on rioting, injuring and killing innocent civilians should not be curtailed and arrested. That was what happened. Chinese' graciousness! The initial slow reactions of the Chinese authorities in Tibet fearing that immediate reactions would bring criticism from the West in this year of the Olympics. Results...22 innocent dead civilians burnt or hacked to death. Just like the suicide bombers in Taliban country, these protesters already have an agenda. That is to cause embarrassment to China.

Any civil societies would have expected the authorities to do their job of protecting the innocents and curbing civil disobedience or criminal activities. In America, the National Guards would have you shot if you were on a rampage re: Kent State, the 1969 racial riots in Detroit, Los Angeles riots, and the aftermath after Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated. Chinese society is too gracious to take all that sh## sitting down. I guess they are just a polite race. Time for them to wake up and be outspoken and demand their voices and concerns to be heard.

Sang Nila:

.

If you understand Chinese history, you will appreciate the progress that China has made in terms of individual freedom. You are afraid to use the codewords "democracy" and "human rights", used frequently by the west to ostracise China. For anyone who criticise China because of human rights and democracy simply are not realistic and have no understanding of China. A country with 1.4 billion mouths to feed and clothe, cannot afford to allow certain segments of society or the world to disrupt the administration that has the heart of the Chinese ( i.e. the 56 ethnic groups) at heart. When your stomach is full, then we can talk all we like about democracy and human rights. The same stories are happening in some parts of Africa. Western governments are so bent on these African nations to declare human rights and democracy before they allow investments in those countries. IT is a form of blackmail. Citizens suffer and die by the millions. So do you care to say anything to those much learned "western civil societies". When black Africans die in far away land, the majority of the people in London, Paris and Washington DC are not affected. Only the corporations care. For they see their opportunities of investment being curtailed and the "gracious" Chinese are there in Africa helping to build the infra structures that are so needed to jump start the economy. Of course, the gracious Chinese have ulterior motives. They need all the resources needed to sustain the living standards in China. Just like any societies and it is not confined to the gracious Chinese alone, corruption exists and with time, the authorities have brought many of these people to trials. But guess what? Some of these criminals have managed to find refuge in the name of human rights in Canada, USA and Australia. China does not need any of these corrupt people. You in the west can keep these people.

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

The depth of emotion, the dedication, the almost oneness achieved between two people are just a minute qualification of the time and effort both required and needed by both participants to engender a relationship that blossoms and proves to be a true example of the feeling of devotion that is usually called love.

Wow.

Yes, Descartes, I know this one. The Chinese equivalent is :

不在乎天长地久, 只求曾今拥有

It does not matter whether [love] is everlasting, only wish that you've had love.

Sounds romantic and carries a tinge of Bohemian nonchalance. Is this an excuse for promiscuity under the guise of love? Didn't we say that love requires hard work?

天长地久 : so long is the sky, so old is the earth

曾今拥有 : this has possessive connotations though attachment eventually gives way to acceptance

Reality check! Fine if it's destiny that made people cross paths but if things didn't work out after we've tried, acceptance is the best measure. If a relationship is doomed to failure from the start, why invest your life and time on it. I know of some folks who adhered to this principle, and I mean, seriously, they do believe and love deeply. But what they got out of this is disillusionment.

By the way, they've used this proverb in a watch advertisement many years ago.

These poetic words may make some people cringe. But I could think of suitable circumstances where they are applicable. For those widowed at a young age, it offers some form of consolation. The pain may be afflicted by loss due to illness, accidents, war, or events beyond human control. At least they have had loved deeply even though it might be short-lived.

-unknown

I found this post in another thread and thought it should be reposted here.


_________________

The Butterfly Lovers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1DqfJtd3sU&feature=related